When Plans go Awry
by MissHikaHaru
Summary: It is a fact whole-heartedly acknowledged by all in attendance at Ouran Academy that the very instant there was quiet it was very soon to be disturbed by a certain pair of infamous redheads; but never so much as this. When a trip to the Black Magic Club goes awry the twins get more than they bargained for; will this escapade segregate the Hosts or bring them even closer together?


It was a pleasant enough day at Ouran Academy; it was a rather drowsy Thursday lunchtime, mid-April, early morning showers having refreshed the air as little rainbows danced across the walls, light refracting a million times through the droplets lazily sliding down the window panes. Birds were twittering gaily, accompanied by light piano song as Tamaki tickled the ivories in Music Room 3, fluttering past the windows in excitable flocks. Haruhi Fujioka was quite content that day, leaning comfortably back against the plush red sofa as she and the others listened to the blonde's concerto – which was presently lulling Mitskuni into his slumber, his soft blonde curls resting in Haruhi's lap. Kyoya sat by the window, reading a very large, very old, book. Takashi was beside him, watching the birds fly past behind the glass, and tracing raindrops as they seemed to race little tiny transparent cars on a track. Haruhi turned her docile head around, looking at each Host in turn. She sighed, tasting the crisp Spring air wafting in through an open window, the pale pink drapes flowing like liquid silk with the breeze they allowed by.

Yes, she was content, for it seemed a day quite unlike any other – peaceful.

At least, until the twins returned. That was to be expected, though, was it not? It is a fact whole-heartedly acknowledged by all in attendance at Ouran Academy that the very instant there was quiet it was very soon to be disturbed by a certain pair of infamous redheads; but never so much as this.

The moment they burst into the room, synchronised in both movement and irrationally raised voice, Haruhi knew what little sanctum she had found that day was instantly abolished and chucked out the window and into the gardener's barrow of manure with which he was currently cultivating a bed of hydrangeas.

"Goooooood morning, good evening, good afternoon!" The two Hitatchiin brothers announced their arrival in their usual flashy manner – Haruhi found herself just a little surprised that they had not thrown glitter from their cuffs this time (as they'd done for the past three days of the week, and – in extension – the previous half of the month). The female then realised that they could not have released the glitter even if they had any, for they held together an enormous tray laden with a similarly enormous teapot which seemed to be emitting a lavender blue smoke from its spout, which they quickly set down upon an empty table. "And how is our little Haru-chan, today?"

"_Shush!_" Haruhi hissed, pointedly indicating the sleeping Mitskuni whose arms had now found their tiny way around her waist. "Man, just _when _will you guys learn to just walk into a room normally?"

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down," one of them said, leaning on her right hand side over the top of the sofa.

"Yeah, no need to be so rude, Haruhi," the other said, likewise leaning down on her left. "After all, we did just make you some tea."

"Oh, so that's what you two mess-affairs were doing..." Haruhi thought aloud, narrowing her eyes a little.

"Oh, Haruhi!" they sighed, straightening up and clutching one another in mock despair. "How you belittle us, so!" She rolled her chocolate brown eyes, subsequently settling them upon the tray upon the table. It was still smoking, ever so slightly.

"Doesn't look much like tea," she said, frowning cautiously. "Tea doesn't usually have blue steam." The twins exchanged glances, a notion the brunette almost missed.

"That's because it's lavender cordial," the right twin said.

"Yeah, it's this special blend of Pu-Erh - something like that, anyway, it's not like we know exactly - where the leaves are this dark indigo colour," the left twin said.

"We found it in our cellar last night, and thought it looked cool," they said together. Haruhi raised her eyebrow. She was about to speak, put off the 'Pu-Erh' by the subtle-but-not-so-subtle glance the twins had shared, when a cool voice sounded.

"It certainly sounds like it," said Kyoya, and the three looked round to him as he rose from his chair. "I've not had Pu-Erh in a while, actually - not since my family went on vacation to Yunnan a few years back. I remember it's delicious, though." At hearing Kyoya confirm the authenticity of the tea, Haruhi was a little more assured that the twins were not trying to poison her.

"Yeah, it is," the twins said, pouring a cup of the steaming brew and offering it to her. "Here, try it, Haruhi." Haruhi accepted the teacup, looking down into the drink coloured like blooming periwinkles. She sniffed it, perhaps still rather tentative as to whether or not she would die to take a sip, and was more than a little surprised to find that it smelled like the fancy tuna she had grown so attached to. Intrigued, she took a sip. She gagged, hastily setting the drink down on the table before her.

"You poisoned me - I knew you would!" she coughed, covering her mouth with her elbow and fighting back the urge to retch. The second-year approached them, pushing the glasses up his thin nose with a long finger. "That's utterly disgusting! How could you possibly _like_ something like that?!"

"What _are_ you talking about, Haruhi?" Kyoya asked, bending to pick up the discarded teacup; the twins, who had previously been grinning devilishly, suddenly looked rather afraid.

"No, senpai, I wouldn't!" they said quickly, swiping for the cup. "If Haruhi hated it so much then - I mean, it's surely horrible - would you want - I mean - just - _don't drink it, too!_"

"Would you two be quiet?" the Shadow King said coldly, "All your pratting around is giving me a headache. If anything else, you'll wake up Honey-senpai. Besides, Pu-Erh is a taste I very much - well, that's odd." As he had raised the cup to his lips, he'd caught a whiff of the liquid within it. "Smells different than I remembered - less earthy, and rather more like..." The twins grimaced as the second-year drank, likewise coughing and near dropping the teacup as Haruhi had done. He groaned, dropping onto the sofa beside the brunette. The motion of his sudden seating bounced the sleeping blonde awake, and - upon hearing the apparent Black Death engulfing two of his closest friends in fits of violent coughing - snapped upright, the usual menace of being woken up vanishing in his worry.

"Haru-chan, Kyo-chan, what's wrong?" he asked, hugging Haruhi tightly as if this would quite remedy her spluttering - this, however, proceeded to do nothing at all but worsen the matter, as his inordinately powerful arms near choked her completely. "Water - you need water!" He spotted the cup on the table and dove for it. "Good enough! Open wide, Haru-chan!" The tiny third-year made as though to pour the beverage into her mouth, but at that moment both she and Kyoya ceased their coughing. They panted for a moment, all looking at one another. The others then noticed that Takashi and Tamaki had approached, worry and confusion upon their faces - or, more literally, Takashi's pale face was turned downwards fractionally and Tamaki was clutching his face in fear that it would fall apart from the way his mouth opened wide enough for a truck to fit through.

"Haruhi, _ma fille_, are you hurt!?" he cried, clasping his arms around Haruhi's neck and causing her to splutter once again as he cut off her windpipe.

"_S-Senpai - gerroff!_" She threw him away, and he fell to his knees behind the sofa, pouting with eyes sparkling like a puppy left out in the rain. The female touched a hand to her neck, swallowing dryly. Her head felt a little light, dizzy even, and her stomach rumbled uncomfortably. "Ooh, wow, I feel kinda... weird."

"I think I know what you mean," Kyoya affirmed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes with a hand. "I feel so tired, I don't know why."

"Kyoya, _mon ami_ - are you sick? Do you need the nurse? Oh, better yet, I'll call the ambulance!"

"I don't need an ambulance for feeling a little drowsy, you moron," Kyoya snapped, getting to his feet and fishing Tamaki's phone from his grip as he attempted to dial the emergency number.

"B-B-But you almost died just now - you could have suffocated!"

"I'm fine," he replied icily, straightening his tie and stalking away to his corner and sitting back down in his seat by the window. Haruhi noticed, however, that he did not pick up his book, instead massaging his temple with slightly gritted teeth. She frowned, feeling herself rather headachy and sore. What she didn't notice, however, was that Mitskuni had picked up the cup as well.

"Mmmmm it smells like strawberries and cream!" he cooed, turning the cup upside down in his mouth and downing its contents. Within an instant he had keeled over and was twitching upon Haruhi's lap, coughing and spluttering with all the force of a foghorn. Equally as fast, Takashi pulled him onto his own lap and cupped the little blonde head with his two enormous hands, dark eyes fearfully scouting his cousin's face - which already seemed to resemble a rather plump tomato. The twins exchanged finished glances, as though done with the entire fiasco.

"Welp," they shrugged, starting away together, "Only thing to do now is wait for this whole mess to unfold."

After a minute or two, Mitskuni quietened as Haruhi and Kyoya had done, and - exhausted as the two also now felt - fell immediately asleep, tiny beads of sweat spotted on his brow.

"Do you think he's alright?" Haruhi asked tentatively, Takashi's frame still stiff above Mitskuni's.

"I don't know." Takashi's near-black eyes found the teacup, on its side upon the sofa. He picked it up, seemingly empty. He sniffed it, that keen nose picking up an odd scent of fermented natto soy beans. Frowning, he tipped the cup and extended his tongue as a single drop rolled languidly around the brim and - with a little shake - slipped off. That single drop was all it took to have the enormous third-year retching like all the rest, and Haruhi - absolutely bewildered - only just managed to grab him and pull him towards her before he fell and hit his head against the table. His huge frame slumped upon hers, convulsing with his coughs, and she felt distinctly helpless with his dead weight upon her against the sofa - she likewise scolded herself for thinking, in that moment, quite how nice he smelt.

"Mori-senpai...?" she asked quietly after he had ceased his coughing, pushing against him gently. "Mori-senpai?"

"Oh, Haruhi," he said quickly, sitting himself up and not looking at her. "Thanks," he added shortly, and she understood that he meant for not allowing his head to be smashed in by the table.

"No problem," she replied, equally short. The two did not look at one another, at opposite ends of the three person sofa, with backs and legs abnormally straight and rigid.

"Oh, so much is happening, I'm all of a dither - what, has the plague been unleashed once more!?" Tamaki raved, pouring himself some tea. He sighed dramatically, taking a deep swig to set his nerves at ease. "You know, gentlemen, I really think we shoulgaaaaaragsahdjh!" He fell to the floor, flailing like a drunken fish washed up on a boiling rock. "I'm burning from the inside out! Haruhi, I always loved you!"

"A pity I can only say the same by lying," she replied, rubbing at a nerve in her temple that had begun to pulsate at his cries.

"You learned such coldness only from your mother!" the blonde spluttered.

"_I am not anyone's mother!_" Kyoya's irritable voice sounded from the corner, and Tamaki whined incessantly.

"Take care of our children, mommy!"

"_Shut __**up**_, you blithering oaf, or I might just have to throw you from the window myself!"

"I can see the light!" Tamaki cried, rolling onto his back and reaching a hand towards the ceiling. "I'm going towards it!"

"Senpai, that's a lamp."

"So many regrets - I'm dead!" With that his arm fell back down onto his chest, and he lay still, already asleep. At this, the others too seemed overcome with another great wave of fatigue, and - each, even with their own will to remain awake - succumbed to its slumber, as the lavender tendrils of steam above the teapot dissipated like winter mist as the sun went behind a cloud.


End file.
